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Monday, August 1, 2011

reflections

today went ikea with sab n ting.. n also went to view sab new home progress..

in her face i really saw what is xinfu.. have a little home of urs own with your love one.. or jus by being there,holding the hands of your love one.. i once had all dis xinfu but is me who ruin all this !!

had been reflecting a lot recently. m i such a bad gf ? y mus sf , vivien , stacy all disapprove me wanting gab back .. ? i asked sab, m i a bad gf to gab ? the ans was yes .. suddenly i realise deep down inside.. i m the one who had been keep hurting him.. thinking back i feel so ashamd of myself.. y can i everytime throw tramtum n run away n aspect him to find me ..
y am i so childish ? being with me de this 4yr plus is not a plesant time for you ba.. Now what i can do to paid back the hurt i cause u de is jus to zufu u n june ba. " And also quietly disappear from your life.

As for kalvin , i think i will also quietly disappear from his life ba. to him, i feel tons of guilt. i cant be so selfish and hold on to him for support.he deserve a better ger out that..

after this 2 relationship,i really feel i am so childish , so stupid. always let xinfu go away from my hand.. i hate myself to max..

its 1 aug finally.. a month that i had to face it eventually.. i decided to let this month as a restart .. a restart in my life..
from now on .. i am going to work extra hard for my own career and will not let xinfu ever slip away from my hand .. i no longer want to be a morning glory or kola bear anymore .. i want to find back the real me a better me !! i want to be a princess again !! someone who ppl will love n dotes .. someone who respect herself,protect herself,love herself.. and work towards what she want in her life.
meilei jiayou n love u had greater inspire me !!

i am going work towards my dream of having a small cosy cafe and every customer who eat the desert i make can bring a smile on their face.. n the super xinfu de feel.. but first and for most , i got to work hard for my capital which is my insurance now and faster get my diploma cert in pastry baking..

From now on i am also really going to slim down !! no longer jus say say only !! "

someone in tagged sent me dis msg : " The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it, The present is here, live it !!! "

That what most important to me now !! is the present .. the past had past .. dere nthing else i can do le ..

jiayou !! fighting !! you can de !!


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